Or Tissues in the Bed
Family Therapist, B Janet Hibbs, PhD. in her book, Try To See it My Way, writes that people who are committed to relationships know how to navigate the annoying issues of daily life that can cause fights between couples. Every couple has issues that need to be worked out because when two people are involved, things naturally will be seen differently. The question is how exasperated do you become when he/she does not walk the dog, or when he/she is late for dinner, or leaves Kleenex in the bed after you asked him/her not to?
Your ability to resolve disputes in a fair way, without name-calling, criticism, defensiveness, contempt or stonewalling are critical to the difference between healthy fights and destructive relationship breakdowns. Oftentimes, it appears to be a small incident that brings a client into the divorce lawyers’ office. He didn’t like what I said about his driving, and the next thing I knew he packed his things and moved into a hotel. One partner may be blindsided by the reaction to what seemed a stupid fight, but in a troubled relationship there is no such thing as a stupid fight.